Strider Beauty and the Beast
by HienFan
Summary: A fairy tale in a horribly crude envision. Will update with better content someday


Strider Beauty and the Beast

Disclaimer I don't own anyone if I did there would have been a Strider 3 already

Warning Violence, mild language, punching in the face

Pairing KainXTon Pooh, mild HiryuXSheena

Cast (at least the role.. personality not so much)

Ton Pooh as Belle

Kain as Beast

Hien as Lumiere

Hiryu as Cogsworth

Sheena as Mrs Potts

Rin as Chip

Mariya as Feather duster lady

Nam Pooh as cupboard

Matic as Footstool

Grandmaster Meio as Maurice

OC (Larry Stud) as Gaston

Sai Pooh as Lefou

Random ladies as Bimbettes

Kuramoto as Bookstore owner

Witch Hazel (She's from Looney Tunes) as Enchantress/witch

Strobaya, Beard Jr, Mikiel and Hinjo as Tom, Dick, Stanley and Stanley (I know there are only three but meh)

Prologue

Once upon a time- man that was a cheesy line there was this blonde Prince called Kain and his... 7 servants. They lived a fairly peaceful life until one day this random witch called Hazel turned Kain into a beast and all his servants into random objects and said that if they want to be human again Kain has to find true love before he turned 21. The thing is who on earth would love a beast? As the time past Kain is starting to lose hope... Okay enough of this

Chapter 1 The Village

Okay time for the village Ton pooh here is exiting her house to visit town firstly.. she strolled to the bakery and all the people stared at her thinking how odd she is

When Ton Pooh arrived near the door she kicked down the door and exclaimed 'Hey Arana are your bread ready?'

Arana then took some bread out and said 'Yeah yeah take them and get lost since you are supposed to be reading not buying bread'

'Okay I'm leaving or the narrator will kill me' said Ton Pooh getting out of the bakery 'And besides I've just finished some story better than-' unfortunately she never really finished her sentence since Arana threw a burnt bread at her face so she had to leave

As Ton Pooh was walking to the bookstore the townies started to stare at her and tried to sing a song only it failed since the author is tone blind 'This girl she's oh so W-e-i-r-d' said the Amazoness

'Indeedy her gazing eyes are always in some freaky book' said Helzog

'The Girl Is Oh So Strange' said Kubira

When Ton Pooh arrived at the store she started to shout 'Hey gramps I've come to return bak the book I borrowed'

'Wow.. you are done??' said Kuramoto 'That was.. fast...'

'It was just to exciting to read, it was about a guy called Jack who killed giants with beanstalks and a golden goose' said Ton Pooh

'Thanks for the information miss..' said Kuramoto

'So gramps do you have anything else new?' said Ton Pooh

'No you read everything too soon' said Kuramoto

'Oh well.. guess I'll take this book' said Ton Pooh taking out some role playing book about dragons, swords and warriors

'Haven't you read this book a billion times?' said Kuramoto crossing his arms

'But it's still so epic and badass' said Ton Pooh 'You know all the great fearsome dragons, epic swords and brave heroes'

'.. Okay okay I get your point' said Kuramoto before he smiled 'But since you like it so much you can keep it'

'But sir.. what if someone wants to read it?' said Ton Pooh

'Nah.. no one around here reads at all since reading is considered deadly poison around here' said Kuramoto

'Oh urrr... thanks sir..' said Ton Pooh before she walked off while Kuramoto waved 'Come again'

As she headed home more people started to make ridiculous lyrics on how bizarre she is while some muscle meat called Larry Stud who is made of 99.99% meat and 0.01% bones and organs and ultra teensy weeny itsy bitsy short legs 2cm tall is shooting some random chickens from the poultry only no one cares since he's so drop dead sexy and all that stuff. As one of the chickens flew into the air his sidekick Sai Pooh picked up a sack to put the chicken in. When the chicken finally went into.. her face she ran to Larry and exclaimed 'WOW! Larry you are such an amazing hunter. I want to be as cool as you'

'Arigatou Sai nori teriyaki wasabi chisai' said Larry 'Larry is such a badass and cool hunter since Larry is so strong and muscular doko demo issyo'

And as he said all that three women started to say in terribly swooning tones 'This Larry oh my.. he's so strong.. he melted my heart with his blazing looks, oh my he's so cute. And my what a tall, muscular, handsome, burly and brawny brute of a meat he is!!!' Their bosoms rested on a water pump and sprayed water all over the place so it smells like chicken meat now, only nobody really cares

Except for Sai Pooh "EEEWWW it stinks..' she said vomiting near a drain

'And Sai Larry's little teriyaki Larry have ichi particular bishojo in Larry's eyes bishonen shonen shojo zushi ikura' said Larry pointing his gun at Ton Pooh

'Isn't she the inventor's daughter?' said Sai Pooh

'Hai. She's the ichi. The Lucky bishojo Larry is gonna marry ramen negi ringo ichigo' said Larry 'The most beautiful girl in town, so that makes her the best sora kai ao kuro' He strangled Sai's neck 'And Larry deserves the best hai?'

'Y-y-yes s-s-sir' Sai Pooh stuttered

'Arigato Sai chan watashi boku teme midori kiiro' said Larry 'The moment Larry eyes met her, Lary think she's bishojo and Larry fall hopelessly ai with her, here in this yon place there's only she who is as beautiful as Larry, so Larry is making plans to marry Ton momo aka ao shiro kuro taiyaki takoyaki' He stopped moving for a while to looked at himself and put some more hair gel in his hair to imitate the baker's hair which is a very popular style around here. As he did so Ton pooh walked pass him so he started to run after her only to be stopped by the public cause they are silly people

As the crowd started to get outrage sly huge Larry went into Wilhelm's house to get into his chimney so he can climb the roof. No one considered it strange since Larry is a dude and guys can do anything

When Ton was still reading her book Larry managed to arrive in front of her and he said 'Konichiwa Ton kun sakura hana chii roku nana'

'Hello Larry freak' said Ton Pooh when Larry suddenly snatched her book away from her. She then frowned and yelled "Hey gimme my book back!!'

'EEEWW Larry hate books, baka baka baka morashi' said Larry 'And how can you read these stupid things? It has 0 pictures in these baka things. Books are so baka teriyaki tempura wasabi zushi'

'Well idiot some people uses their minds to imagine what's going on' said Ton before Larry tossed the book directly on her face giving her a blue face

'Ton you should stop reading and pay more attentions to other wasabi.. Like Larry, chisai natsuyasumi onigiri sensei' said Larry flexing his huge arms causing the three fangirls to start swooning 'The whole town is talking about it. It's sooo wrong for a shojo to read you know. Soon she's gonna start getting weird ideas and-

'Larry you are just obnoxiously STUPID' said Ton pooh punching his face

'Why thank you Ton, teriyaki sukiyaki anago sake' said Larry wrapping his arms on the much slimmer Ton Pooh (She's not that slim but if you see guys like him you too would look like a stick) 'Ton someday you should come with Larry to the pub and look at Larry's shooting trophies, gozaru de shimenji shikao'

'No thanks muscle idiot' said Ton scowling

The three fangirls stared at the girl, with their eyes bulging 'What's wrong with that girl?' said the girl in yellow

'She's so stupid and crazy' said the girl in green

'But Larry is so gorgeous....' said the girl in blue, her eyes still on Larry's toned body

Ton Pooh turned around to walk off 'Well I have to go home to help my father'

Larry then laughed as he said 'You want to help that crazy osama retard? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!'

It drove Ton pooh made as she said in an extremely rude tone 'HEY!! My dad is not retarded'

Larry then for no reason blamed Sai Pooh, whacked her on the head and said 'Hai Sai don't talk about her bokasan that way you baka"

'My dad is not crazy Larry, oh wait maybe a little but he's NOT retarded' said Ton before Larry then grabbed her on her green shirt

'Baka Ton you come with Larry or Larry will do something too indecent to say in public' said Larry in a scary tone as an explosion started on Ton's house

Ton Pooh then started to shake before she remembered something and smirked. She moved one of her legs to trip him over, which is easy since his legs are so short. When he fell and loosened his grip she ran off saying 'Bye bye idiot be sure to get stilts'

'Why you...' said Larry trying to get up only finding it incredibly difficult thanks to his legs being too short, so in the end Sai Pooh has to help him. When she did he punched her on the face and said in an arrogant tone 'Larry will get that girl.. you just wait...'

Ton Pooh's house

Ton Pooh sprinted into the house to see her father in a KO position and a broken machine 'Hey Dad get up' said Ton Pooh

Meio immediately got up as she said that, rubbed his head and groaned 'Oh man... it failed again....*sigh* guess I'll just give up..'

Ton Pooh then approached him and punched his face 'Don't be so feeble dad. You can do it even if it takes forever' she said

The Grandmaster rubbed his face for a bit then made a determined look and said 'Right I'll try yet again my girl'

He then tried again on his urrr.... tree chopper with some kind of machine with several swords sticking out of it. This time it succeeded 'Yes!! I donned it!' he cried

As he sat down to take a drink Ton Pooh then said "Hey dad.. Do you think I'm odd?'

'My daughter is odd? No' said Meio 'Where did you get such a stupid and strange idea?'

'The village is always on and on about how odd I am' said Ton Pooh 'And.. I don't think I really belong in this place. I don't really have any friends other than the old bookstore keeper'

'Urrr... how about Larry? He's a handsome lad' said Meio

'Yeah yeah that guy is handsome but he's also a stuck up, egoistic, self centered jerk who randomly spews out terrible Japanese' said Ton Pooh '*sigh* dad that guy is not for me...'

'Oh well dear.. I hope this new invention will be a new life for us' said Meio leaving the house to get to the fair on Option A

Japanese Glossary

You might notice that Larry is constantly speaking random Japanese. Well I wanted it that way

Arigatou-Thank you

nori-seaweed

teriyaki-oyster sauce

wasabi-grated intensly spicy horse raddish

chisai-small

doko demo Issyo/issho-A game made by Sony about a cat named Toro

ichi-one

bishojo-pretty girl

bishonen-pretty boy

shonen-boy

shojo-girl

zushi-sushi rice

ikura-salmon egg

ramen-a type of Japanese noodles

negi-spring onion

ringo-apple

ichigo-strawberry

sora-sky

kai-sea

ao-blue

kuro-black

hai-yes

watashi, boku, teme-me/I

midori-green

kiiro-yellow

momo-peach

aka-red

shiro-white

taiyaki-fish cake

takoyaki-octopus balls

baka-idiot

tempura-some kind of breading

chisai-small

natsuyasumi-sunner holiday

onigiri-rice ball

sensei-teacher

sukiyaki-Japanese dish with meat

anago-saltwater eel

sake-salmon

osama-father

bokasan-mother 


End file.
